Procurando a verdadeira sujeira em suas celebridades vestidas de fantasia favoritas? Você está no lugar certo, pois a deliciosa Rosie Knight nos mantém no topo das lutas, flertes e últimas fofocas da DCU nesta coluna sensacionalmente selvagem.
Bem, meus queridos, parabéns! Você chegou oficialmente ao primeiro semestre de 2024, e se você está lendo isso, significa que provavelmente não foi sequestrado por Brainaic (a menos que eles tenham um ótimo Wi-Fi naquela Skull Ship) ou assassinado por um Lobo-bro (Lobros?).
Sim, foram alguns meses difíceis no Universo DC, e sinto que as coisas só vão piorar nos próximos meses. Então, pensei que poderia ser bom dar uma pausa em tudo isso e celebrar o smorgasbord de heróis queer se aventurando nos confins mais distantes do nosso fabuloso universo em DC Pride 2024 #1. De cogumelos assassinos a encontros românticos, tenho ouvido todos os tipos de rumores sobre alguns dos nossos amigos favoritos do alfabeto, e estou aqui para abençoá-los com todas as fofocas do Mês do Orgulho agora!
HISTÓRIA: HERA VENENOSA SERVE A ALGUMA JUSTIÇA NA LOUCURA DOS COGUMELOS!
Numerous sources have confirmed that Dr. Pamela Isley has been tripping through the Multiverse on the hunt for some rare mushrooms that will make even the most steadfast of psyches see their gods.
Look, I’m the biggest #HarlIvy hashtagger out there, so don’t take this as a slight against our favorite plant mom. But I saw god just last week after I ate some mushroom pizza in the cafeteria that must have been sitting out too long and you didn't hear me making a big hullabaloo about it! Also, Janet-from-HR didn't do anything a damn thing for me, but okay, sure, she has plenty of time to accompany Poison Ivy on a romantic journey to Portworld to procure some long-extinct fungi. Bureaucracy at its finest, I guess.
Anyway, I hear that multiple class action lawsuits are currently being filed in a variety of courts throughout different realities accusing the good doctor of malpractice. And by malpractice, I mean forcing bigots to go on the trips of their lifetimes after involuntarily ingesting the super-shrooms that Ivy painstakingly hunted down. I hope she has a sympathetic jury and a good lawyer (or a lenient judge who's not allergic to mushrooms) because this will certainly be a tough conviction to dodge. With that said, I'm sure she would do it all over again if given the chance and we would all be rooting (yes, I said it) her on.
ITEM: NATASHA IRONS STEELS HERSELF FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLE REUNION
I wouldn't usually spend my time writing about the love lives of teenage heroes, but I wanted to focus on something a little more positive this month. Besides, it’s only been a few years since I was teen myself. (You all know that, RIGHT?) So, my little birds at Traci 13's Pride party informed me that Natasha Irons decided to celebrate the magical rainbow month by making amends with the mystical host herself.
Although the hostess with the mostess wasn't expecting Natasha to show up, the pair did manage to make amends after Steel Jr. apologized for ghosting her fellow hero for some of those bigger name supes.
You know we've all been there. Besides, who wouldn't leave their girlfriend at home to spend some quality time with Raven? But this elder queer is proud of the girls for such brave and bold communication. Next time, why don’t you stretch those communication skills just a bit farther and reach out to your pal Rosie with a party invite? Thanks, besties!
SCOOP: JACKSON HYDE HAS A NEW WATER-LOVING BEAU
The newest Aquaman on the block (if your block happens to be the seven oceans covering the majority of our planet) has a new flame! Ha’Wea is his name and wooing Jackson Hyde is his game. As reported to me by several different fish who saw it firsthand, I can safely say that 1) talking to fish is incredibly underrated, they're very interesting, and 2) Jackson and Ha’Wea have just locked it down and made it official. That's right, if you still had your sights set on dating the Lad of Liquid (hmm, not my finest nickname), sorry, but you missed your chance. These fellas are feeling the love and it looks like this is only going to get more serious from here on out.
As an aside, a rather talkative fish who unintentionally stowed away in Jackson's pocket recently managed to end up in New Genesis. (Yes, even underwater super suits have pockets apparently, but can I get a halfway decent pair of jeans with them? No, apparently that’s asking for far too much.) Anyhow, the fish, whose name is Terrence, informed me that New Genesis has endless Pride parties happening on loop. Have we all been sleeping on this up-and-coming hotbed of celebration? I'm currently asking my trusty travel agent to look into it and get back to me with some potential vacation packages. If it's as good as Terrence-boy said, then I may need to visit three to four times just to make sure I'm experiencing the full scope of what New Genesis has to offer. So, it looks like you can officially mark this story as developing with more to come.
Falando em festas do Pride, é melhor eu sair antes de perder a de Constantino. No ano passado, tive um frosés a mais e me perdi no Bleed. Tive que contar com Jenny Sparks para me tirar – era uma coisa toda. Este ano, estou mais um com meu novo amigo Terrence e vou me contentar em conseguir mais alguns furos sensuais para vocês adoráveis! Então, esta é Rosie Knight assinando, apenas lembre-se de espalhar a palavra... desde que você me diga primeiro!
DC Pride 2024 #1 já está disponível nas lojas de quadrinhos e pode ser lido na íntegra em DC UNIVERSE INFINITE.
Rosie Knight é uma jornalista e autora premiada que adora o Monstro do Pântano, o DC Cosmic e escreve a coluna mensal de fofocas aqui no DC.com. Você também pode ouvir sua letra depilante sobre quadrinhos, filmes e muito mais a cada semana, enquanto ela co-apresenta o podcast de cultura pop da Crooked Media, X-Ray Vision.
NOTA: Os pontos de vista e opiniões expressos neste recurso são exclusivamente de Rosie Knight e não refletem necessariamente os da DC ou Warner Bros Discovery, nem devem ser lidos como confirmação ou negação de planos futuros da DC.